My Manifesto for my Family

Manifesto is a cool word -- sounds like I'm taking over the world, but it just means a stated plan or intention.  Here is the manifesto I created a year ago for my family while I was in the midst of dealing with angst around the behaviour of one of my boys (you know who you are!).



My Manifesto for My Family
* open to interpretation and different methods of implementation

Love

• You are my child/partner and I will always love you.  I will not always love the things you do or the attitudes you have but I will always love you, just as you are. I won't love you more if you behave better; I won't love you less if you behave badly.

 

Loyalty

 

• I will always have your back.  I will always do what will benefit you most.  You may not always like it or agree with it.  No matter what happens, I will stand beside you.

Safety

• Home is a safe place where you can be yourself.  You will not be hurt or ridiculed.  You will be accepted just as you are.  You will not be allowed to hurt or ridicule anyone in this house.  If "who you are" hurts people, I will find you the resources to work through this.  Home is safe for everyone.

Encouragement

• I will always encourage you to go for your goals, try new things and take chances (within reason).  I will do whatever I can to help you.

 

Teaching and Learning

• I will teach you what I know, sometimes even things you don't want to know, like chores, consequences and responsibility.  I am willing to learn what you have to teach me, even if I don't want to. Things like patience, humility and that I'm not always right.

Being Together, Being Apart

• I want to spend time with you -- alone, with the family and with others.  I enjoy your company and we can't achieve the other items if we don't spend time together.  I also need time away from you -- and you need time away from me -- so we can be our own people with our own friends and interests.

i can assure you, i was totally freaked out

I've had a few rough days but I found this video and it makes everything better.  Just to note, I don't speak French but there are subtitles (although some stupid ad covers part of them and you have to click the x to get rid of it). 

I watch this and laugh and laugh and feel better.  Then I think about how I'm laughing at baby ducks being blown around and feel bad because I'm obviously a terrible person.  So I have to watch it again so I feel better.

what I carry around

Because I know it's the formost question on everyone's mind -- what sort of stuff does Kate carry around with her?

Well, I carry a purse to work, doctor's offices or other places where I may get bored and need something to do. 

 I've put my work mug beside it for scale.  My friend Betty Jo gave me this purse for my birthday -- it is GORGEOUS!  I get a lot of compliments on it.  It's a beautiful shade of candy apple red and yes, I have shoes that match.  3 1/2 inch peep toe pumps.  I look too hot when I'm sporting both of them. 

This purse holds a remarable amount.

1. A paper tape measure from Ikea
2. Notebook.  Work gave us these for something or other.  The paper inside is blank - no lines -- and quite good quality.  I snapped up any extras left laying around too as they are good sketch books.
3. Water Colour Pencils to draw with in my notebook
4. Calendar
5. Magnetic Dominos.  Not sure why I carry these around since I don't even know how to play dominos.
6. Sunglasses, from the dollar store because I lose about a pair a week.
7. Advil. Must have Advil
8. Hair clip
9. And another hair clip.  I always have hair clips, usually clipped to the front of my coat because I take them off when I'm in the car.
10. Hand sanitizer. Isn't this tiny bottle cute?
11. Floss.  Have floss, will travel.
12. Pen
13. Disgusting flavoured cough drop. Just in case I'm that desperate.
14. Cloth to clean my glasses.
15. Assorted store loyalty cards and library cards
16. Headset to my cell phone.  I never use the headset.

For most outings I don't take my purse, I put my stuff in my coat pockets.  I like my current coat because it has two breast pockets and two hip-height pockets so there is room for lots of stuff and I can keep it organized. Sorta.

1. Cell phone
2. Mini notebook full of lists
3. Pencil, so it doesn't leak
4. My wallet.  It has pockets on both sides and I put the carabiner on it so I can clip it to things.  I grabbed this out of my dad's stuff after he died.
5. Sam's birthday money.  We were shopping on the weekend.
6. My Worldly Wealth -- 25 bucks.  I don't normally carry such large amounts of cash with me.
7. Random receipts that I might need.  Or not.
8. Calculator, which I didn't think to position right side up for this picutre.
9. Hair clip, which was not technically in my pocket but was clipped to the front of my jacket.

Shall we get all Fruedian on what I carry with me?

The Blues

I guess it gets like that sometimes -- the blues.  It's been a hard go lately.  The holidays weren't kind to us, what with it being the first one without Dad then me ending up in the hospital with some health problems.  I can't seem to get my equilibrium back.  I just want to sit and cry but a full-time working mom doesn't often get the opportunity to do that.  Some days breathing seems like more than I am able to handle.

I just want to be home.  In my home, doing home things.  I don't want to go to work, or visit, or shop, or anything other than be home. I want to make bread and sweep the floor and do laundry and do all those things that get rushed and neglected.  I want to burrow into my house and make it my home. Alas, I am what stands between us and living in a tent, in Canada, in the winter. So I guess I'll sing the blues.  Here's a little lesson in how to sing them.

10 things about me

1. I don't homeschool but I have. My eldest son was having trouble in grade 9 -- we had him tested and it turned out he was functioning at a grade 3 level and had been pushed through. And he was smoking pot on school grounds. So we pulled him out of school for the rest of grade 9 and homeschooled him. While working full-time. Brought him up to grade level but the damage was done to his feelings around school and after spending 3 years trying different schools and programs he dropped out. Hopefully he will at least get his GED someday.

2. I spent 20 years attending church in a big way. And I mean BIG. Totally committed, served on every committee, attended every function, had private devotion and Bible study, fasted, prayed, you name it, I did it. I don't do any of that anymore and I'm much happier, calmer, and am an all round better person and so are my kids. Not saying that church and religion is bad, just giving my experience.

3. I hate my job. It's boring but I'm only 10 years from retirement (with 22 years in) so I don't think it's a good plan to leave now!

4. I had a pony as a child. Every little girl's dream, except mine was evil. Kicked and bit and bucked.

5. I have limp and lifeless hair. Seriously, no hair product can give it life or volume. It is my burden.

6. I have a crappy camera. It's about 10 years old, which is ancient for a digital camera. No zoom, no NOTHING. Hence the crappy pictures. I am hoping someone (Mom, Aaron?) will take pity on me and buy me one for .

7. I love to read. Love, love, LOVE to read. At a recent high school reunion everyone asked me "So, do you still read so much?". I have my library card number memorized. I sleep with my books.

8. I hate noise. I love silence but seldom get to hear it. I am wearing earplugs RIGHT NOW to try to drown some out. The later it is at night, the less I can stand noise.

9. I would like to be a stay at home mom but fear that if I spent that much time around my kids blood would be shed.

10. I am not a particularly good mother. I don't do crafts with them, I let them watch too much TV, I yell too much, and I'm not above pouring syrup on their heads (but only when they pour it on mine first).

There, that's more than you ever hoped to know I'm sure.

pain

pinched. nerve. so much pain. back soon

About me

hmm, usually i see a little blurb near the top to put in the "about me". I'll do that when i figure out how.

I am a divorced mother of 3 ADHD boys, am ADD myself and now partnered with the most wonderful and patient man in the world. I write, bake, craft a little, read a lot, spend way too much time on the internet and not nearly enough time cleaning.

uhhh, i'll likely add to this as i become more interesting.

I heart cats

I love cats, truly I do. I am currently owned by two cats, Jack and Kittee.

Jack is 11 years old and we got him at a time when we were having a rat/mouse problem. Traps and poison weren't working so I determined we needed a cat. Jack arrived as a tiny bundle of fluff, not bigger than a mouse himself. I waited until he was 6 months old before letting him in the basement where the mice were. (I call them mice because I am afraid of rats). He came back up a couple of days later all sleek and happy and we didn't have any more mice problems after that.

Kittee is 3 years old. We rescued her from a skeezy apartment building as a small kitten. She was so tiny we thought she was much younger than she was -- until she surprised us with kittens! She's since been fixed but she won't grow much bigger the vet say, due to her young pregnancy. She is a delicate little sweetheart who loves to drop "presents" on our bed in the mornings. Furry presents. Furry presents without heads sometimes.

quiet

With the two boys off to swimming and my wonderful man at work last night, i actually had an hour or so of quiet. This is so rare in our household that I hardly wanted to move in case I made a sound. Eventually I did move -- washed dishes, made bread. Went for a walk with my mom.

The quiet ended when Sam came through the door after swimming with stories of everyone he met on the way home ("she had a big dog, Mom, but it was friendly."). Liam decided to spend the night with a friend, so it was just Sam and me for the rest of the night. Time with Sam can never be considered "quiet" (that boy never stops talking!) but it was quieter, relaxing and peaceful. And the apartment smelled of fresh baked bread.